


A Ring of Thoughts

by silvercolour



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Asexual Character, Body Image, Fluff, Heart-to-Heart Conversations, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post-MAG159, Scars, ace!Jon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26179093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvercolour/pseuds/silvercolour
Summary: Jon’s scars have been causing him to hide, even now that they’re safely away from everything. Martin hopes to fix this- by proposing to Jon.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 14
Kudos: 186
Collections: Silver’s h/c fills





	A Ring of Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day 6 of the TMA h/c week, and I can’t believe I’ve been keeping up with the week this far! A HUGE thank you to everyone who has been reading, writing comments and leaving kudos, you make writing SO much more fun!!
> 
> All fills for this week will be posted to my tumblr (@silver-colour) as well as here on Ao3, to the collection this fic is also a part of!

He’s shopping in the village downhill when he sees it. The perfect gift for Jon. It’s in the display window in the small charity shop-meets-antiques store across from the pub. From what he can see through the window it even looks like it might be Jon’s size– Martin prays it is. This gift needs… special, meaningful, but more importantly it’s something he wants to be _symbolic_. Something visible and something that Jon perhaps might want to show off.

Martin remembers a time from before Jon hid himself away, from prying eyes, and people and monsters who meant to hurt him; from the world. A time before Prentiss’s worms got to him, before burning hands, and kidnappers and– to many things to count.

He’s not quite being honest with himself. This definitely started after Prentiss. All the others just… pushed the matter further, beyond its limits.

Jon used to roll up his sleeves while working. Martin knows this, because he may or may not have enjoyed the view quite a bit. It stopped, after Prentiss attacked them– after Prentiss injured him. Jon only ever wore long sleeves after that.

Martin cannot blame him. The many (far too many) small pockmarks across his arms and reaching up to his chest can’t be a fun reminder. Especially not when seen in the very location they happened.

After that comes an assortment of scrapes and cuts from a multitude of visits to the tunnels under the institute, and from being hunted by the Not-Them. And there were kidnappings and the _freaking Buried_ and Jon’s foolish idea to have some of his _own ribs_ taken out. And then there are the burn scars on Jon’s hand.

The scars still look angry, even though they’re healed, but since Jude’s visit Jon has developed a tendency to only use his left hand unless he has no other choice. He’ll reach for tea mugs left-handed, search stacks of files, and while talking only gesture using his left hand. Martin knows Jon is right-handed. And worse, he started flinching away from others, avoiding all touch as though ever contact might have harmful intentions.

Which is part of why Martin has been looking for a gift like this. It’s a simple gold band, ever so slightly scratched and bumped in one or two places, but aren’t they the same? It’s well polished, and seems to have been lovingly looked after, if the age listed is any indication.

Martin hadn’t been expecting to find any rings at all out here in such a small village. He had been considering waiting till things maybe, possibly, returned to normal. The other reason for it, the more obvious part, is, well… He’s sure he could ask Jon to marry him without a ring, but it just doesn’t feel the same. He wants to do this properly, however weird their circumstances might have become. Jon deserves that much (and so much more; Martin knows he’s biased in this but really? He doesn’t care).

* * *

The entire walk back uphill to their safehouse Martin ponders how he’s going to ask Jon. Perhaps he can go back down to the village in a few days, get some extra groceries and cook something special. Of course, Jon will immediately know something is up if he does that. If Jon doesn’t notice sooner. He’s far too clever, even without the stupid extra powers the Eye grants him. 

So perhaps he should ask the question sooner, without planning anything special for before or after? That way it’ll be more of a surprise, maybe. But that plan still relies on Jon not noticing Martin being nervous. Martin heaves a sigh. Perhaps he should ask it tonight, give himself less time to give away the secret.

Or perhaps he should not have bought the ring yet in the first place; instead he could have made plans ahead of time, and only gotten the ring last. But by then it might have been sold from the shop, and how is he going to find _another_ decent ring without traveling down to one of the bigger cities?

When Martin arrives home he finds Jon in the exact same place he left him, seated on the corner of the sofa closest to the fireplace. Except he’s now wearing one of Martin’s oversized hoodies. Specifically, a hoodie that is oversized on Martin. Jon looks like a child wearing their parent’s shirt. His hands are only poking out the sleeves because he folded them back a few times, and are still only just peeking out from the edges, just enough to hold his book. His legs are folded under him and completely hidden by the baggy folds of the hoodie. He looks so warm, and comfortable, and softly perfect, that Martin cannot help but leave the groceries at the door and walk straight inside to hug Jon over the back of the sofa.

Jon makes a surprised noise, having been thoroughly distracted by the Austen he’s reading. He let’s go of the book with one hand(his left, of course it’s his left) to wrap it awkwardly around Martin’s neck.

“You were gone quite a long time, could you find everything in the village?” Jon says, and leans his face sideways into Martin’s. And it’s that small gesture, that easy closeness that makes up Martin’s mind. Because Jon has been hiding for a long, long time. He still is, but somehow, for some reason Martin cannot fathom, Jon has put his trust in Martin. Enough to let his guard down, even if he’s still hiding. Enough to touch, and to receive touches from Martin, without hiding or flinching away.

He’s still hiding, Martin knows Jon is wearing long sleeves even under his hoodie. But he knows healing isn’t easy, and they can take it one step at a time.

“Martin?” Jon leans back to look at him properly. He’s been quiet just a little too long to answer a simple question. Jon might be getting better, but neither of them has gotten less paranoid since coming to Scotland. Something else they can fix later– together.

“Ah, yeah, sorry, I was just- just thinking… what was the question again?” He laughs a bit, embarrassed, and suddenly apprehensive.

“I asked whether you could find everything down in the village– Martin, is everything okay?” Jon is beginning to look uneasy– and Martin is doing this all wrong; if he wants this to be a special occasion it can’t be… _this_.

He plants a firm kiss on Jon’s forehead, who lets him do so (another small miracle to Martin, that he’s allowed to do something like that, even if Jon usually doesn’t feel like reciprocating). “Yes, everything’s okay Jon, and I did get everything we needed from the village.” He pauses, suddenly unsure of how to proceed.

Jon smiles warmly, and softly bumps his nose against Martin’s in answer to his kiss. “Alright,” he puts his book down and moves to stand up. “Come one then, I’ll help you put away the groceries you already dragged them all the way up the hills.”

“Ah, wait, Jon–,” Martin has to do this now, right now, he realizes; or he might not ever get the courage for it. He takes a deep breath: “sit down with me for a second? I found something I want to give you, as well.”

Jon nods, yet somehow manages to fold himself further into the hoodie in the time it takes Martin to take off his coat and get the little box from his pocket. He’s hiding again– Martin knows they’ve both struggled to let others close, but here and now it’s just the two of them. No need to hide.

“Jon, I… I don’t even know where to begin,” Martin falters, looking at his hands that hide the little box.

A crooked smile crosses Jon’s face. “You could start with the gift, and tell me the story after?”

Martin breathes out a laugh: “No, I need to tell this properly first, it’s– it’s important.” He pauses, then hides the small box behind his back on the sofa and extends his hands to Jon. He’s taller than Jon, even seated, but somehow it still feels like he’s looking _up_ at Jon, at this wonderful, kind man, who has done so much for him, and who has had so many bad things done to him.

Jon hesitates only for a moment, but Martin catches it anyway. Still, Jon reaches for his hands, which is a very good sign. Martin squeezes Jon’s hands, scarred and unscarred both, and thinks how amazing they would look with a ring on them. But for that he’ll have to ask the question first.

“Jon, I- I always feel like you’re hiding, I mean hiding who you are, but also hiding your scars, and–,” Martin notices Jon’s hands curling in on themselves, can feel him trying to take back his hands, and Jon isn’t looking at him anymore. He’s looking at their entwined hands, one scarred, and three with varying degrees of worm-marks on them.

On impulse he brings Jon’s right hand to his lips and kisses the knuckles, and then moves down to kiss each of his fingertips. It’s more than enough to bring Jon’s gaze back to him, Jon’s eyes huge and round, and his focus entirely on his lips.

“I don’t mean to hurt you by talking about them, Jon, I’m sorry. It’s just… They’re a part of you, however much I hate that you had to suffer for it. They’re a part of you, and I adore _all_ of you, and I wanted to, maybe, give you a reason to not hide so much anymore?” He lowers the hand he just kissed, but Jon tugs it back up, and gently kisses Martin’s hand in return.

“Thank you,” it’s only a whisper, but it’s such a clear answer that Jon might as well have painted ‘I love you, Martin Blackwood’ on the walls. For a moment they lock eyes over their hands.Then Martin blushes, realizing Jon is waiting for him to continue.

“I hoped to find a way to make you not want to hide your scars so much, as a way to show you that–,“ they’ve said the words before, at nights, or sleepy mornings, but never like this. Never in the bright daylight, where everything feels so much more _real._ “–to show you that I love you, Jonathan Sims. That I love _all_ of you, scars, and grey hairs, and your bright eyes and brilliant mind and…,” Martin lets go of Jon’s hands and grabs the box that waits impatiently behind him.

“And I couldn’t think of any clearer way of showing that than by giving you something as proof of that love to wear.” He slides off the couch and kneels down before Jon, whose eyes are now impossibly wide. His hands are still on the couch where Martin let go of them, no longer hidden.

“That is, if you want to wear it, of course.“ One quick glance at the box, for Martin to gather his thoughts, gather his courage, to ask the most important question. He looks back up.

“Jonathan Sims, will you marry me?”

For a moment there is silence, and only the wind outside and the crackling of the fire can be heard. Then Jon surges forward, ignoring the ring completely and throwing his arms around Martin instead. He holds on tightly and for a moment Martin thinks of asking if he’s alright, when Jon answers, his lips right next to Martin’s ear: “ _Yes_. Yes I do, Martin Blackwood.” 

Then he does the most incredible thing on this whole incredibly amazing day. He kisses Martin, trailing several kisses down his cheek to his lips. Then he _really_ kisses Martin, movements urgent and lips blazingly warm against Martin’s. Because Jon doesn’t generally enjoy kissing, but when he does– oh, when he does he kisses like a man drowning. Martin unfreezes his brain from its state of shock and begins to kiss back, yet he cannot help but feel like he is still only _being_ kissed under Jon’s onslaught.

It takes a while for them both to calm down, but eventually Jon forces him to get up “Come on, we’ve been sitting on this cold floor for far too long.” They are still holding hands, as they settle, but Jon reaches for the box with the ring – _his_ ring– that was temporarily abandoned on the coffee table.

He takes the ring from it’s cushion and admires it for a moment, touching it’s well-worn finish. Then he holds out his hands to Martin, one flat, palm up, with the ring on it. The other palm down, for Martin to put the ring on. It’s his right hand.

Very gingerly Martin takes hold of the ring and Jon’s hand. He doesn’t know Jon’s ring size, but he tried it on in the shop and knows that it should sort-of fit Jon, although it might be a bit big for his ring finger. He slides in onto Jon’s middle finger instead, praying the size isn’t to far off.

It isn’t. The ring fits snugly around Jon’s finger, and instantly looks like it was _made_ to be there. Martin will choose to believe it is. Still holding Jon’s hand he kisses the ring and it’s finger.

The groceries lie forgotten by the door for a long time, before they remember to untangle themselves and put them away.

**Author's Note:**

> My other fills for this week:
> 
> [DAY 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26067358) jonmartin Shaky hands/Holding hands  
> [DAY 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26099584) the Admiral improves Jon’s bad day  
> [DAY 3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26127337) Hiking, jon has an accident, and Strong!Martin  
> [DAY 4](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26142172/chapters/63601369) Vampire!Jon, touch-starved, hugs (chapter 1 of 2)  
> [DAY 5](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26164330) Martin has nightmares, but Jon is there with hugs  
> [DAY 7](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26196100) MAG160, told from Martin's POV
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you liked about this fic- I love hearing from you guys!!


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